So...

...good talk.

A life lived in fear is a life half-lived

Often, we find ourselves making sacrifices and doing hard things because we believe something good will come out of it. We decide the rewards are worth the risk. We trust we will be blessed. I was sitting in Sunday School last week when the teacher introduced the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. They made a decision knowing that the outcome might result in death. It brings to mind Joseph Smith going to Carthage jail, knowing that his life would be taken from him.

Okay, so nothing to that extreme is happening in my life. Thankfully. But it did cause reflection on small ways in which I've tried to apply the same principle. Recently I was afraid to do something. I was 90% sure that it would not turn out the way I thought I wanted it too...but I did it anyway. Better to try to do the right thing and face my fears than miss out on a chance to grow.

Sometimes it's hard to find

Wow. So it's been forever since I've been on here. So much changes. I thought I had things pretty planned out. Now I am moving on and leaving a city I love and people I love even more. On the other hand, I am excited about new adventures and opportunities to grow.

And yet in the back of my mind comes the thought, "Have you done what you came here to do?"

So. I need some sunshine. We all need some sunshine. Everyone goes through things that are hard for them. (I must sound a little whiny today). So let's infuse a little more sunshine into this post. I absolutely love the family I spent Thanksgiving with this year. They have been like my adopted family and I can't express enough how grateful I am for them. They have opened their home to me, and they have been a sounding board for difficult decisions. Kindness is ALWAYS a good thing and always appreciated. They have shown so much to me and to others.

When you care enough to send the very best...

The past few weeks have definitely been a roller coaster. I realized that there have been times that I have not reacted the way I should when others have tried to serve me.

I have days where I feel like people do nice things so that they either look good to others, or to get people to like them, or to feel better about themselves. Ultimately, we want to do nice things out of love. But I'm beginning to see that all the other reasons are good reasons. At the end of the day, those reasons motivated us to show someone kindness. In the meantime, as we learn to become better and kinder, and we ask ourselves why we do what we do, our hearts change. And the more we show kindness, and the more we receive kindness, the more it will inspire us to love.

This morning, a friend did something as simple as send me an e-card. I love me some Hoops and Yoyo. It took a moment, it gave me a good laugh, and it was personal. No one else was going to see it. No one else was going to know what she had done. But they will now! lol. I am so grateful for all my good friends who reach out, who remember, and who inspire me to be a little better and love a little more.

And she is just one of many.

Welcome relief and new beginnings

Be grateful for good friends and answered prayers. Last year, rumors and then substantiated rumors of layoffs amid budget cuts swirled throughout the university. My job has been incredibly stressful and I've been overloaded for a while. As concern grew, I realized that if layoffs did take place, I wanted it to be me. Not just because I wanted other people to keep their jobs, but I was already doing the work of about two and a half people, and if someone else left, I couldn't handle more being placed on me. A good friend at the time started praying and fasting that I would get laid off. Now I know that sounds weird, but I felt it would be the best thing if budget cuts came to that point.

Yesterday, that prayer was answered. And strangely enough, I am very grateful. It reminds me of a quote from You've Got Mail. "You are daring to imagine that you could have a different life. Oh, I know it doesn't feel like that. You feel like a big fat failure now. But you're not. You are marching into the unknown armed with...nothing. Have a sandwich." In January I get to enter the world of student teaching. In the meantime, I get a chance to decide what it is I really want to be doing. I am so grateful for such a gift.

To all those who make the world a better place

There are a lot of amazing people out there. People who remind you what it means to be a friend. People who are kind in the face of criticism, loving in the face of intolerance, patient in the face of unrelenting demands.

To the friends who are there when you need them, to the teachers who strive to make a difference, and to all those who make the world better by being in it...

On a day I need to remember

When I started this blog, it was on a day when I really needed to remember that what I did made a difference.  Today is another one of those days.  Sometimes it can feel like we work so hard, reach out so often, and rarely if ever see the purpose behind it.  We feel like we have to change the world, and in a world of instant gratification, forget how long it can take sometimes.  And sometimes, we get those small moments where miracles happen.  We get to be in the right place at the right time.  We say the right words. We show sincere love.  And we get to see the change begin.  The rest of the time, we have to remember why we do it.

So today, the thing that I am going to do right is to let what I give change me.